What’s yours? If you haven’t read Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages for….” couples, kids, teens, etc. Then, let me go ahead and say it…You should.
I always thought my love language was obvious. However, after dropping hints, being brutally honest, and whining that mine weren’t met, then I gave my husband the test. I wanted him to see that I was meeting his love language so that he would meet mine. After all, I was doing all those things that I was taught to do in premarital counseling 20 years ago, right? I knew him well.
Guess what!?! I was wrong. This journey to get him to meet my needs helped me to meet his needs too. 👍In fact, isn’t that how relationships work? As soon as selfishness and blame sets in, its time to look in the mirror.
As Michael Jackson says, “If you want to make the world a better place, just look at yourself and make that change.”
Or as the Bible says in Matthew 7:3-5,
“Why do look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
When we took the test together, both of our eyes were opened to the truth. See, I had no idea that his love language is “receiving gifts”.
“Wait! What?!?” Whoops! 😆 Problem!
The Light bulb moment!…”He doesn’t need gifts! But, he wants them.” Small tokens of appreciation in the form of a box or a bag make him happy. Especially when it comes from me.
Here’s what happens in marriage, time passes, comfort sets in.
Side note: In case you’re interested, my best marriage advice after 24 years of marriage….DON’T EVER get comfortable! Spice it up! 💃🏻
Here’s what happened….When I had my first child, after I stopped working, I stopped spending money frivolously on gifts and such because I didn’t feel like I was contributing. And because we had a joint account that he checked in on daily, he would never be surprised. Therefore, he wasn’t receiving gifts from me. I was a failure at meeting his love language. 😩 This was a huge “wake up call” to reality for me. It’s tough to admit when we are wrong. But we have to. And ask for forgiveness so we can be forgiven.
I had to figure out a strategy to get enough cash put away to get unexpected gifts. It’s a little tricky, but I’m figuring it out.
There are other ways that he loves to be loved. I had to adjust my schedule and routine also. I got so caught up in being a good mom, that I was a bad wife. It’s common. But moms have to find a balance. Leave those kids and get out to enjoy life. That life that God gave you before kids is a good life. Don’t leave it in the past. Dig it up from the grave. Dust it off and shine it up.
Now, we even communicate differently. We have text capability that we didn’t have 24 years ago. Cell phones weren’t as popular and text wasn’t out when we got married.
But now, we even have our own love (text ) language. I make up acronyms to text to each other that we know between the 2 of us exclusively. And I like it when he remembers to text them to me.😍
Don’t let your marriage get boring. Figure out your mate’s Love Language and Speak that love language as often as you can. ❤️
Let me know how it goes. 😊
And Carrie On, because marriage can get hard if you let it. Stay High and don’t ever stop being the best spouse you can be.
Colossians 3
And remember, stay close to Jesus! He Loves you both!❤️❤️
Carrie
Stay High 